What is yours to do?
I’m still mostly avoiding the news. When I do dive in, I come away shaking my head and wondering if I’m reading news accounts from The Onion. It would be hilarious if it weren’t actually real.
It helps me to keep this question top of mind: What is mine to do?
Seeing how little control I have over the world’s problems leads me to despair and the desire to give up and run away.
So what is mine to do?
Despairing Cupid, Powerscourt Ireland
Seeing the utter disregard for so many of my values and the threat of the dissolution of the country as I have known it generates feelings of hatred. So what is mine to do?
I know that hate is not how I want to show up. Four years ago, I was in rather the same head space when I wrote about the power to choose how to show up. Knowing that I get to choose how I respond gives me a sense of empowerment, which dissolves some of the despair.
Once again, the question is “what is mine to do?”
Every moment, I have a choice to react from a place of hate or to respond from a deeper place of love.
Spending any time in that place of hate and reacting from that place goes against my deeper knowing of how I want to show up in the world.
Reacting takes the bait and falls for the triggers. It is a mindless action that only escalates the negativity in the world. Reacting with hate comes from my ego self. That’s where hatred of the “other” is rooted.
The ego wants to be right. It wants to win. It feels the need to defend its position. The ego is afraid of not having enough, of not getting its fair share. When I let the ego drive, hatred flourishes.
As I sat with this concern that hate was taking up too much space inside of me, I listened to an old Celtic chant called “Seek Beyond,” which refers to the mystery that lies beyond whatever we perceive. Then, I heard a quiet invitation to go deeper.
When I “seek beyond” my knee-jerk reactivity, and I drop below the clamoring of my ego, there is space for something else to emerge. When I can drop below the ego, I find myself landing in a deeper place, a safe space, a web of unconditional Divine love. This is the place from which I want to respond to the world. This is where I want to spend more of my time - at the level of my soul, immersed in Divine love. John O’Donohue suggested that prayer was visiting this safe place from time to time. More of that please!
It’s what we are called to do. We are invited to put on the mind of Christ and be Christ for others. The ego still clamors. Rage still comes. But how do I want to respond? How do I want to show up? Which voice will I listen to? I get to decide.
So, what exactly does it mean to be Christ for others? What does that look like when I am overwhelmed with sadness and anger? And what am I supposed to do with all these prickly feelings?
Feel your feelings. Feelings need to be felt. And not stuffed or ignored or slapped with a bandaid of sanctimoniousness. Let them come. Let them go. It’s best not to set up a tent and camp out in the negativity. Help those feelings along their way by expressing them through art or journaling, or use whole body actions like screaming or stomping, but express your feelings responsibly. While you don’t really control which feelings come, you are responsible for the consequences of how you express them.
Notice how those feelings point to what is most important to you.
Rage is a form of prayer, too, according to Rev Dr Renita J Weems. We have been raised to squash “dangerous” feelings. God can handle whatever you are feeling. Even rage, even hatred. God already knows what you are feeling. Ask God to help you become more aligned with your True Self. Ask God to show you how and where you can be Christ for others.
Accept what is. Fighting against reality wastes your life’s energy. Be like water, and flow around the boulders in life, finding a different way to get where you are going. Find a different way to help where you are called. Find a different way to do what is yours.
Save your energy for things you do control.
Engage in “The Three Feet Practice.” Figure out who is in your midst and how you can bless them. What do they need? What can you offer? Food or a donation? A listening ear or shoulder to cry on? Something beautiful for their eyes. Creating something beautiful is good for the soul, yours and theirs!
Engage in acts of solidarity so they know they are not alone. Of course, “they” are really part of us because we are all connected.
Offer Lovingkindness. It cultivates goodwill toward yourself and others and it overcomes hatred. Sharon Salzberg’s guided meditation of Lovingkindness is linked here. Each day, offer this well wishing three times: to yourself first, then to others you love, and then to your enemies. Here’s a script to get you started:
May I / you / they be safe
May I / you / they be happy.
May I / you / they be healthy.
May I / you / they live with ease.
Just keep Showing Up. You get to choose how to show up. Knowing that you can choose is empowering, as I observed above. Maybe you are the one you are waiting for! Be intentional about where you are putting your attention. Focus on doing what is yours to do, and let go of the outcomes.
Don’t give up. Don’t give in. To give up, or to give in to despair, or to respond with hate, is to keep letting the bastards win in your heart. It is to deny the Christ consciousness that is already in you. We are told to love our enemies. I surely can not do this on my own! The only way we can do this is with and through and as Christ! Tap into the Christ energy that dwells within - its depths are unfathomable.
Consider this wisdom:
From the medieval German philosopher, Meister Eckhart: “Don’t let the conditions you’re living in have the final say of the innermost sense of the depths of your heart.” Those things don't get to define you. Only love has the authority to define who you are.
And from a contemporary American philosopher, Audre Lorde: “The master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house.” These words warn us not to react with the master’s tools of hatred.
Show up together, with and for each other. We are stronger together. Every burden is lighter when shared with others. We are wired for connection so naturally we feel safer in community. It helps to know that we are not walking this path alone. Author Nate Postlethwaith suggests that we need “less ‘you’re so strong’ and more ‘that looks heavy. Let me help you carry it.’”
Where are you plugging into a supportive community? The Wise Souls Circle is a lovely supportive community!
Strengthen your resilience. Start with self care: Shower yourself with compassion and grace. Tend your inner flame. Grounding yourself daily in the Divine source is an essential practice. Eat when you are hungry, rest when you are tired.
What else can you do that fortifies you and keeps you in balance?
For those of you who are hurting, which is all of us in some way or another, know that God is holding you, and will not let go even if you can no longer feel God’s presence. Meditate on these beautiful healing words by Katherine Tucker in The Spirit With Us Substack post “The Keeper of the Vision.” This was not what God had planned for us.
Let me know in the comments what is yours to do!
You are very welcome to join us in The Wise Souls Circle. We will be sharing a Lament Healing Service during our next session on Monday, December 16th at 7:00pm. If you would like to join our circle, just hit reply and let me know!
Your transparency leads to Wisdom, Mary. And the timing is perfect for the question. I have been sifting through what I think are responsibilities now and letting go what is not serviceable or beneficial. Celtic spirituality helps. And so does your authentic companionship. Giving thanks for you.
Thank you for this! I was surprised and while I was unhappy a third of registered voters didn't vote, it seemed better to know than not half
of our people voted differently than I did, only a third did. Of course, I don't know how this may have been different had the non-voters voted. But still, 'only' a third of the adult population feels better. (The stats came from CNN.)