Questioning Fear

Building a Beloved Community

These are fearful times, or so they want us to believe. 

They want us to cower in our fear and not stand firm.

They want us to be silent in our fear and not speak up.

There is much to be fearful of, with the loss of human rights and the threat to our democracy, too many wars, and authoritarianism on the rise. Who wouldn’t be afraid? But on the heels of my first fear-filled inclinations, I have some questions:

• How am I responding? How do I want to respond?

Though we have so little control over what is happening around us, the one thing we do control is how we respond. Get curious about how you want to respond. Which leads to more questions:

• How is fear defining me? 

Creativity Coach, Maria Bowler, has some touchstones on figuring out what defines you: “You are what you love. You are what you pay attention to. You are what moves you, concerns you, makes you laugh and weep.”

The fear that you may be feeling actually comes from what moves you, concerns you, and makes you weep. If you didn’t care about the possibility of losing what deeply concerns you, there would be no fear. Now that you know why that fear is bubbling up, you still get to choose if you want to define your responses, your thoughts, and yourself from a place of fear. These questions now come into play:

• Am I showing up from a place of fear or a place of love?

• Is my false self or my true self in charge when I’m afraid?

Choose one, and then reflect on whether your responses, your thoughts, your fears, reflect your choice. These questions bring into focus for me whether I am grounded and in alignment with Divine love. I wish I could tell you that I’m always aligned with God but I’d be lying. 

How do you know when your responses are not in alignment with Divine love? For me, it is a really icky feeling in my gut and a panicky shallow breathing pattern. How about for you? Take some time to figure this out because these patterns are very helpful early warning signs that you have veered onto the wrong path.

So when we become aware that we’re not showing up in alignment, we need to ask:

• How am I called to respond?

This question suggests that the Divine energy of love may be inviting us to a different response. So now what? 

Know that you are fully resourced!

If your faith is important to you, you have resources for dealing with fear. Faith helps us define where we spend our time and energy. Faith informs our worldview and our decision-making process. Faith helps us find our way through fear.

We have access to an unlimited source of Divine energy and love. We need to ask for guidance and be open to receiving it. We can rely on the Divine energy of love to provide for us. We can rely on God to help us figure out what actions are ours to pursue. This is the place from which we need to respond. 

In God’s perfect timing, the world is unfolding. Can you trust it?

God is with us when we are hiding from the world. Can you trust her?

God is with us when we read about yet another catastrophe. Can you feel her presence?

A word about “spiritual bypassing”

A voice in my head wonders if suggesting that we turn to God in times of chaos is spiritual bypassing. 

• Choosing to avoid or ignore all the pain at our doorsteps is spiritual bypassing.

• Waiting for things to turn out right at some future point and in some far off place, like heaven, instead of taking appropriate action in the here and now on earth is spiritual bypassing.

• Not allowing others and especially yourself(!) to express negative emotions, like anger and frustration, is spiritual bypassing. 

Turning to God and relying on God to walk with us through this life is not spiritual bypassing. Accessing the resources that God has waiting for you will help you take appropriate action and give you the confidence that you are on the right path.  It may not erase all the pain in the world but it can make it all easier to carry knowing that we are not carrying it alone.

Photo by Vonecia Carswell on Unsplash

Creating a Beloved Community in The Wise Souls Circle

We are talking about these issues in our Wise Souls Circle, and we began last week with the desire to build a Beloved Community. Creating a sacred space with a “Listening Table” where all are welcome without shame or judgment (in the words of poet Julia Fehrenbacher) has been a sacred mission for me. 

Many of us have outgrown constrictive religious spaces, but we have not given up on the idea that we are all created in the imago dei - the very image and likeness of God. Nor are we giving up on the constitutional guarantee that every person has inalienable rights and is created equal. These important ideas guide the building a Beloved Community. We are creating a community where we:

• support and hold space for each other, 

• belong to each other,

• learn how to trust God more,

• practice living in harmony, 

• move away from duality toward the recognition of the interconnection and interdependence of all, yes, even them!

You are most welcome to join us. Our next meeting is September 23rd at 7:00pm eastern. Just click the button below to receive the Zoom link and journaling prompt.

So what to do with this fear?

This doctor’s advice is from Liza Donnelly in her Substack post called “Lay Off Politics”

Here’s some more advice to consider:

• Put down your phone, turn off the TV and go outside - nature is good for your soul.

• Sit with your feelings.

  • Recognize your feelings, name them, and try to locate where in your body they are present.

  • Validate and welcome your feelings. According to Rumi, they may have been sent as guides from above.

  • Allow the discomfort to flow through you.

• Exercise extreme and radical self compassion. 

  • Ask what your body needs right now? 

  • Chances are that the answer is not in your phone or in your refrigerator. Believe me, I’ve looked!

• Journal or scribble out your thoughts or feelings.

  • This action helps move the energy.

  • It brings clarity by making your thoughts and feelings more concrete.

• Take one small step to add good into your Beloved Community. And then, take another.

  • Choose actions that are aligned with Divine Love - ask for a sign that you are on the right path.

  • Choose actions that keep you grounded in Divine Love - your body will help you figure this one out.

Which bit of advice lands most gently in your soul? Do you have other hacks to manage your fears? Share with all of us in the comments!

Resources worth your time:

• Fr. Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditations this week are addressing Jesus’ call for us to be peacemakers

• Carrie Newcomer’s post called Better Accommodations

• Tosha Silver’s Outrageous Openness and It’s Not Your Money. These two books are filled with practical ideas on how to open to the source of all good things and to trust that she will meet your needs.

My next post will explore how a Beloved Community requires us to heal the wounds of duality in the company we keep, and most importantly within ourselves. Are you subscribed?