In spite of all the circumstances, choose joy!

On reclaiming your agency

Choose joy, in spite of all the circumstances.

I know, I know, right now, the circumstances are awful! It feels like the world is going to hell in a hand basket. I keep thinking it can’t get any worse. And then it does.

Even so, you have the power to choose, so choose joy. Choose to celebrate the goodness that is right in front of you. Look for the sparkly breadcrumbs…they are out there, I promise!

There is joy in watching new seedlings grow taller. There is joy in smelling the sweet spring air carrying the scent of blooming flowers. There is joy in feeling the warm sunshine on your face after days of rain. There is joy in calling a friend just to hear their voice.

Don’t let yourself drown in the despair that follows us like black storm clouds. If we keep focusing all of our attention on the outrageous and illegal behavior swarming around us, we’ll run straight into burnout. And then they will win the war for your soul.

Not today.

Choose joy and resist!

In choosing joy, you resist the powers that oppress and destroy. You resist the loud voices that want to control you and keep you in living in fear. You know this, but I’m going to remind you anyway: you always have the power to choose what you allow to fill your mind.

I just returned from a four-day silent retreat. The best part about it was releasing the death grip I had on my phone. I took long walks along the lake, enjoying the weather that changed from wild waves to calm ripples, watching the herons and egrets looking for dinner, and breathing in the foggy morning that settled around us like a misty veil. I certainly did not miss reading the latest headlines! I chose to focus on the joy of slowing down and savoring the sights and sounds that become a blur when I’m too focused on what’s coming up next. I sat still long enough for my soul to catch up with me.

Choose joy as an act of resistance!

Don’t just choose joy because I told you to. Choose joy as an act of resistance because that will make you feel like a badass! In previous posts I’ve asserted that the people running our country into the ground want us to be very afraid and to give up in despair. Don’t let them be the boss of you!

By choosing to be joyful, in spite of all the circumstances, you regain a measure of control over your life. I read somewhere that if you don’t make your own choices, there will be no shortage of people or institutions who will choose for you. Frightening, right?!

The thing about agency

I like using the word “agency.” It makes me feel smart, hehe. But more than that, I like exercising my agency. That makes me feel powerful!

In the legal sense, “agency” is a relationship between two parties where one of the parties represents, or speaks for, the other party when dealing with a third party (Cambridge dictionary). Real Estate agents are perhaps the most familiar example of an agent acting on behalf of one of the parties to a home sale.

But the non-legal definition of “agency” is more expansive: it is the ability to take action or to choose what action to take (Cambridge dictionary). Agency grants you empowerment over your life, your choices, your dreams, your story. But first, you need to assert your agency. If you don’t choose, someone else will choose for you.

Are you ready to reclaim your agency?

You have the agency to choose where to put your attention. You may have heard it said that where attention goes, energy flows.Take a step back and ask yourself where you want your precious limited life energy to flow. Pay more attention to that!

You have the agency to decide what to believe. Beliefs are thoughts you keep thinking. Now is a good time to reflect on whether the thoughts you believe are actually helping you live your life fully alive.

And once you’ve figured out what you believe, you can exercise your agency to write your own theology to the extent that your beliefs include God. Maybe you were served up platters of beliefs spiced with “This is what people like us believe” or “You’ll believe these things too if you know what’s good for you / want a roof over your head.” Explore what is truest for you, based on your lived experiences. Write about that. Reflect on how God has shown up in your life, and what image of God you want to relate to. Your childhood image of God may need to be retired.

Most importantly, you have the agency to write the rest of your own story. I’ve spent a lot of years feeling like I was “on call” for my family, thinking that I needed to be available to answer their needs while putting my own needs on hold. But now, I’m pretty much a free agent. So what’s a recovering people-pleasing, micromanaging home manager supposed to do now? I’m choosing to do what lights me up and brings me joy. Right now, I’m spending a lot of time splashing paint around and training myself not to care so much about what other people think. There’s liberation on the other side of that hurdle!

How do you want the remaining chapters of your story to unfold? You’re in charge of that unfolding. This is where your agency lies. What step, small or large, can you take to make that happen? Let me know in the comments!

Since many of us have been taught to wait until we have someone else’s permission to live our lives, I‘m giving out permission slips to everyone! I hereby give you permission to take the reins of your own journey and reclaim your agency to choose joy!

What will you celebrate today? How will you choose joy?

Will you dance while no one is watching?

Will you squeeze out your favorite color and finger paint with the gay abandon of a 4 year old?

Will you toss off your shoes and socks and walk barefoot in the tender green grass?

What will make you feel light and unburdened? Do that! Today!!

From your chief permission giver,

PS: There is still time to join the CREATIVE RESISTANCE this Saturday at 11:00 eastern. Grab a glue stick and a bunch of different papers and let your feelings rip… and tear, and glue!